{"id":56,"date":"2009-04-11T13:25:23","date_gmt":"2009-04-11T13:25:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/frees.com\/?p=56"},"modified":"2009-04-12T17:06:44","modified_gmt":"2009-04-12T17:06:44","slug":"56","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/frees.com\/?p=56","title":{"rendered":"Crabby Patties"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Crabby<\/p>\n

“Help you, sir?”
\n“Yes, I’d like one of those Crabby Patties, please.”
\n“Coming right up.”
\n“There’s no crab in those, right?”
\n“Huh? They’re crab cakes.”
\n“Yeah, but it’s ‘real’ crab, isn’t it?” Making the air quote sign with his fingers.
\n“Of course it’s real crab! What are you talking about?”
\n“Well, ‘real’ is in quotes. Like krab with a K, right?”
\n“Listen, mister, do you want a Crabby Patty or not? I don’t know nothin’ about crab with a K.”
\n“Well, krab with a K is like ‘real’ crab, isn’t it?” Again the air quotes.
\n“Yeah, this is, like, real crab. C’mon, there’s people waiting!”
\n“Because I’m allergic to real crab. I could swell up and die!”
\n“Wouldn’t want to see that happen! Here you go, sir. Enjoy!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Help you, sir?” “Yes, I’d like one of those Crabby Patties, please.” “Coming right up.” “There’s no crab in those, right?” “Huh? They’re crab cakes.” “Yeah, but it’s ‘real’ crab, isn’t it?” Making the air quote sign with his fingers. “Of course it’s real crab! What are you talking about?” “Well, ‘real’ is in quotes. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-56","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mikes_rambling"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=56"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":73,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56\/revisions\/73"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=56"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=56"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=56"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}