I haven’t written anything since spring, and my hordes of loyal fans have been beseeching me to get back in the game. Well, one fan, anyway. Well OK, the only fan, if you must know. And not so much beseeching as curmudgeonly grumbling. Anyway, I admit to my laziness. It’s not like I haven’t been writing. A few weeks ago I read in the paper about the upcoming Pemaquid Oyster Festival taking place in Damariscotta, Maine. It included oysters, oystering exhibits, and an oyster poetry contest. Contestants would read their poems aloud, with judges and audience reaction determining the winner. The only requirement was that the poem must contain the word \u201coyster.\u201d A small prize would be awarded.<\/p>\n
Well, we planned on going, and the contest stuck in my mind. I woke up in the middle of the night with a poem running through my head, so I got up early and wrote it down. As it turned out, on festival day the weather was lousy and we decided not to go. Here I was, stuck with what would undoubtedly have been the winning poem, but one so specialized it would be useless anywhere else. But my fan started nagging me, and I realized I could foist this goofy poem off as a blog posting. I am proud that it not only contains the word \u201coyster,\u201d but rhymes it. Twice!<\/em> My apologies to Dr. Suess, who was apparently my poetic inspiration as a child.<\/p>\n The Bravest Man<\/p>\n Throughout human history we’ve seen those brave souls I picture him walking along on the shore His eyes open wide and he thinks, \u201cIt’s delicious! His friends who were watching him ask, \u201cIs it good? Now get off my back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I haven’t written anything since spring, and my hordes of loyal fans have been beseeching me to get back in the game. Well, one fan, anyway. Well OK, the only fan, if you must know. And not so much beseeching as curmudgeonly grumbling. Anyway, I admit to my laziness. It’s not like I haven’t been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-172","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mikes_rambling"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=172"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":173,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172\/revisions\/173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/frees.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nWho climbed all the mountains; who conquered the poles
\nInnovative world leaders, intrepid explorers
\nPolicemen and firemen to face the world’s horrors
\nDoctors in labs, nuns in their cloister
\nBut the bravest was he who first ate an oyster.<\/p>\n
\nSpying these objects on the sea floor
\nAnd picking one up, he sees it’s a shell
\nPrying it open, he says, \u201cWhat the hell?
\nThis doesn’t look right, it’s all slimy and gray!\u201d
\nBut since he was starving he ate anyway.<\/p>\n
\nWhy waste all my energy hunting for fishes?
\nThis tastes delightful; it tastes like the sea!
\nAnd I’m getting a charge from the Vitamin E!
\nIt couldn’t be better; it couldn’t be moister.
\nI’ll give it a name; I’ll call it an oyster.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nIs it tasty to eat? Can we use it for food?\u201d
\nThinking quickly he answers, \u201cOh no, this won’t do;
\nThis might be poison, it isn’t for you.
\nPlease take my advice, this is no good at all.\u201d
\n(While filling his bag with all he could haul.)
\n\u201cI’ll get rid of these; I’ll go give them a toss.\u201d
\nThen he scampered away to invent cocktail sauce.<\/p>\n